How honest are you online? Is true transparency a good thing?
I have a problem. I find it hard not to be honest about how I feel. That’s in real life and online. That means the good and the bad stuff. I’m the kind of person that finds it hard not to go into detail when someone asks me how I am.
I’ve learnt how to adapt though. I’ve learnt to partially put up the façade and try and give people the information they want to hear. Do you ever do that? It kind of depends on who you are talking to? I try not to bore my non-techie friends with geek speak, and I try not to bore my geeky friends with talk of music or other things I am interested in. Many of have developed ways of opening up certain aspects of ourselves to certain people.
If someone asked you…
1) How are you doing today?
2) How’s business going?
3) Have you had a good week?
How honestly would you answer?
Most of us, if truth be told, will answer along the following lines…
1) I’m doing great, how about you?
2) It’s going really well thanks, how about you?
3) It’s been a super awesome one, thanks!
But how true can we be? How true should we be?
Do people actually care in the being given the honest answer?
That’s especially difficult when you only have 140 characters and people can only cope with so much!
Embrace Positivity!
I bet you that you’ve seen at least one “Positivity” quote today. You know the ones- be positive- exhale those negative thoughts… The same is happening in some start ups- trying to eradicate negativity and being a positive environment.
Take social media tool, Buffer which has published their cultural values. You can view it here- http://www.slideshare.net/Bufferapp/buffer-culture-04
The value is: Always choose positivity and happiness
I totally agree that’s a great sentiment and happiness is a good thing to aim for. I agree with their bullet points You let the other person save face, even if they are clearly in the wrong and you never critisize or condemn team members or users.
I love their last point: You are deliberate about giving genuine appreciation. It’s definitely important to be genuine and to appreciate others in the team. But I suppose what concerns me are the other points:
– You always approach things in a positive and optimistic way
– you never complain.
I mean, they’re great sentiments, but what do you actually do when you feel negative or if you tend to be more of a pessimist. How do you go about expressing complaints? Do you just brush it under the carpet where it will fester?
I’m not getting at Buffer or in fact anyone who strives towards positivity on social media or in a business environment. We all find positivity attractive.
But what if we could be genuine as well as positive? What if we can find outlets for our negativity- a place where we can shout and scream so that the negativity can be analysed and something done about it? We all need those friends where we can “let it all out” with. For me, that’s my wife. It does help that Helen Gray is an optimist, and she’s very patient with me. When I’m feeling frustrated I let it all out and after 10 or 20 minutes we work out together what it is that is bothering me. Usually it starts very melodramatically, but by the end of our conversation (and my rant) it’s usually something a lot smaller. I wonder where that place is online? Is there a place like that online at all? And where would that place be in a start up. Maybe Buffer and similar start ups have mini ccounselling cubicles where employees can vent their frustrations so that they can then come back full of positivity. It’s either that or Buffer only employ optimists without any problems!
Can we be genuine and transparent online?
Let me ask you, how is your business doing?
Let me ask you another question, _are you successful?*
Can you answer those questions honestly online?
The truth is that most of us don’t answer truthfully. We hide behind the number of followers, clicks and website visitors without actually asking what the definition of our success is. And because we’re all doing it, we all encourage each other in following this definition of success.
What is your definition of success?
Is it a social metric?
Is it loads of money?
Is it the number of holidays or vacations you have?
Maybe the amount of traffic to your website is your thing?
Or maybe, it’s the amount of time you spend with your family? Maybe it’s the number of friends you have?
I’m not saying any of these things are right or wrong, but you do need to define your metric of success.
I would, if I can, like to steer you (and myself) away from the concept that success is to do with the number of website visitors or the number of Twitter followers you have.
I love this article by Carol Lynn Rivera entitled “How Do I get More Traffic to my website”- http://www.websearchsocial.com/how-do-i-get-more-traffic-to-my-website/
It’s not what you think, although she does go into detail on how you can pump up your traffic, she discussed why that might not be the best strategy. Maybe generating leads and sales might be a better statistic?
Home Cooked, Slow Cooked Social Media
This may seem weird coming from someone who loves Twitter. I do love Twitter- I love the fast pace nature of it and the way you connect with some really cool people and start some awesome conversations. But, it doesn’t itself allow you to go into depth and talk about real emotions and deeper thinking. So, maybe Google+ is the place? And that’s why I am posting these rambling thoughts on here! As well as the fast food type of social media, I hope we can find a place where we can:
– be real and transparent with each other
– avoid flattery but still be kind and helpful
– have deeper conversations
– talk about real success
– disagree with each other but understand where someone else is coming from i.e. respect
And there I’ll stop.
Quite often my thoughts are all jumbling around in my head. Writing them down helps, which is why I am writing them down here. The truth is, I am writing this for myself, but if you have found yourself here, then welcome, and I’d love to know your thoughts. Feel free to disagree or agree with me.
And if it’s ok, I’d love to ping some cool people I respect- Carol Lynn Rivera, Dustin W. Stout, Mike Allton, Gill Andrews, Ashley Faulkes, Sarah Santacroce and Petra Fisher
#SocialMedia #Pessimist #Optimist #Life #Positive
